Today was an excellent day. Why was today an excellent day? It was Friday. And it wasn't just any Friday. Oh no. It was the second Friday of the month! That meant payday! Believe it or not, SHIELD payed biweekly just like anybody else. Well, lots of anybody else's, at least. From what Eleanor had heard, they used to pay monthly, and then everybody pitched a fit. The true heroes of the modern age, and all that, achieving the major victories! And this was Eleanor's first paycheck since she'd been relocated from Miami to NYC. SHIELD tried to make out like other major cities were just as important and needed just as much manpower, but everyone knew that NYC was where it was at. This was where the tights fought each other all the time.

"But why? It's colder here. Spandex can't insulate that well..."

"Excuse me?" The man standing in line in front of her at the bank looked over his shoulder and lifted an imperious eyebrow at her. So many eyebrows around here were imperious. Ugh. Not that Miami was much better. Actually it was probably worse, if you were counting numbers of assholes. But at least it was warmer. Why didn't the heroes here wear flashy parkas and bubble jackets?

"Sorry. Just talking to myself," she muttered. He harumphed and turned back around. Soon enough they'd have her back in the direct deposit system and she wouldn't need to come to the bank, like, ever again.

The hidden earpiece in her right ear suddenly sprang to life. "All Agents in the lower Manhattan area, be advised, the villain Swarm is active and moving towards the Wells Fargo on 97th Avenue. Repeat, Swarm is active and moving towards the Wells Fargo on 97th Avenue. If you are in range, please respond but be advised that you are NOT to use lethal force. Technically, Swarm is covered under the Honeybee Protection Act of 2016. You may find yourselves preventing well-intentioned Heroes from harming him. Hold them off, protect civilians, and stall until containment can arrive. ETA is thirty minutes from now."

"Oh you have got to be kidding me..."

"What is it now?" The man in front of her was starting to actually look irritated. Bully for him. He'd be a lot more irritated in a few minutes.

"Bees. Nazi bees." She sighed with exasperation, puffing an errant strand of hair from her cheek.

"What?" Now he just looked angry, like he thought she was having some fun at his expense.

Eleanor, meanwhile, ran over to the nearest column and hopped up to it's little ledge so she could address everyone. "HEY EVERYBODY!!! YOU MIGHT WANT TO GET OUT BECAUSE I THINK THIS BANK IS ABOUT TO BE ROBBED BY NAZI BEES THAT DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW BANKS AND ELECTRONIC MONEY WORKS NOWADAYS."

Everyone looked around in confusion, but nobody took the short, perky little woman who didn't look official at all seriously. She thought she could hear the man muttering to a woman in front of her that "she's crazy". Well, she wasn't quite official as a hardcore agent yet or anything, and she was certainly nothing like the legend that Black Widow was, but she did at least have a badge, so she flashed it and shouted, "OUT!!!!" Still, nobody listened.

"Really? Nothing? You guys really are the most desensitized. Okay fine. THIS IS A STICKUP! I'M GONNA SHOOT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU IF YOU DON'T SPRAY THE DOORS WITH OFF! ON THE WAY OUT!!" She whipped out a gun and waved it around menacingly. That got people moving. And what do you know, a few even sprayed a bunch of Off! as they went. Would wonders never cease. She also now had the attention of security. Balls.

...But that didn't matter, because suddenly she heard a loud buzzing voice go, "Off!? Really? That is for ze mosquitos, fraulein. I am most certainly not composed of ze mosquitoes."

"Here we go. And me all non-combat. I wish I had some RAID..."


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The Next Generation of Marvel Heroes

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June, 2013

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