"Remi wouldn't let me hamster-style the kid. He also vetoed the toddler leash for later so I'm just going to have to figure out a shock collar or something."

She might have been serious about the shock collar.

"I think we have everything set up, though to be honest I don't know exactly what half of the gadgets and things are supposed to do. Consumer electronics for people with babies are so mundane and simple they're useless. They actually make diaper wipe warmers. Why? And a Diaper Genie is ridiculous. That's what Bill the robotic arm is for. Remote control diaper removal. It's perfect."

Alexa winced.

"Damn that keeps happening."