"Soulless heathens. This is the thanks I get for trying to introduce some culture into your drab lives!" Marcus bemoaned cheerfully, climbing into the driver's seat. He held his phone out the window and snapped a last picture of the teapot before he started the engine.

"I'm afraid there are no survivalist style camping grounds in the area, but I've reserved us a spot at the Tomlinson Run State Park in its 'rustic camping' section. I asked for the bear-attack package just for you, Jay."